We're headed back tomorrow.. just Hallie, Kyle and I on a 1056 mile drive. Oh, and of course, the new TomTom GPS I bought today! I don't know much about these things, so I'm hoping this is a good one! I did make sure Canadian maps are included, because I plan on getting passports soon. Might as well visit Canada since we're so dang close!
So, home is where the heart is. This whole month I've been in Missouri I have looked forward to going back to New York. I miss my own house, my own routines, my friends, and my space. I also miss all of my little reminders of Nathan. But now that it is coming time to leave, I'm second guessing myself. It would be possible to live here, right?
NO, NO, NO! I suck at making decisions. Like, I can't even decide whether I should eat my taco or quesadilla first when I go to Taco Bell. And I always end up regretting my decision lol. (Yes, I'm dead serious.) So with a big decision like this, I hate that I'm starting to second guess myself. I think it is just because it is actually happening, we're actually going home. It is nice to know that if this feeling does stay, that we can come home anytime.
Gotta stop stressing over this!
So, I didn't post yesterday. I was in St. Charles visiting my sister, brother in law, and her children. I had so much fun seeing them, and taking pictures of their family, and doing Little Miss Kinslie's 'Three Month Young' pictures. I wasn't here when Kinslie was born (which is a giant deal for my family, because there is always a waiting room full of people when its baby time!) so she didn't seem 'real' to me until I met her. She is so tiny and adorable, and did so well in front of the camera!! I know Hallie is going to miss 'Ry Ry' and I can't wait to see their beautiful family again!
Enjoy this sneak peek :)
Also, today was Mother's Day. It is starting to hit me that Nathan is really gone. It was really difficult to see people celebrating, and buying the moms in their lives cards, all while not having him here. It is just too weird having Mother's Day, while I'm trying to play the role of Mom and Dad.
That's all for tonight.. it has been a long week of goodbyes and little contact, and I have lots of packing to do.
I'm so glad you started this blog so I can keep up with you when you're back "home" in NY. It's weird, I feel closer to you now - in these few short weeks - than I've ever felt to you before. How does that happen?
ReplyDeleteAnywho - if you get turned around, call me - I am sitting at my computer ALL DAY LONG - for the most part. I can google map you and help you figure out where to go. Make sure you have my number in your phone - 573-631-1276.
Also, I applaud you for being so brave -making these decisions - trying to do what is right for your family. I can't believe how grown up you are and it was a treat to share Mother's Day with you and your babies yesterday. Keep the pictures coming - I know you will - so we can feel closer to them as they grow up.
Be safe and please come back soon! We will all miss you and Hallie and Kyle while you're away living your life. Nathan will be in my prayers, as will the idea that this war will end and he and the rest of the troops can guard our freedom from within our own country's borders. I hope this happens in our lifetime. Love you Boppie Doo!